So what IS next?


This is a reflective time of year for many of us, as we move towards the end of one year and the dawning of another. I’m pondering major bereavement stemming from earlier this year – including loss through people dying and loss of long-time friends moving away.

There’ve been times (similarly to many others no doubt) I’ve felt forced to be resilient when all I’ve really wanted to do is fold up and cry. Through experience and over time, I’ve come to believe in a spirit world, so what follows may repel you – if you read on, just remember all I’m doing is expressing my personal opinion.

I’ve seen and heard various interpretations about the meaning of life, why we’re here, and is there a life after physical death. Some descriptions have initially come across as a bit ‘oddball’ and hard to grasp, some have been delivered in quite uncaring, non-empathic ways, so there’ve been some concepts I’ve been slow to grasp, but of course there’s nothing wrong in taking time to understand things, after all we need to find the things that sit comfortably on our own shoulders, not anyone else’s.

Recently I was drawn to read a book “We Are Their Heaven,” by Allison Dubois – the title in itself was sort of gentle and comforting and I’d never heard that description before, so I had to look inside. Some of the words that have soothed my brow include:-

“We are here … to learn what matters in life, to see and experience love. With love comes loss, but the loss is temporary and the love stays forever. Grief brings people together … builds our awareness, and relationships change… When someone who died appears in our dreams, it’s a visit …

”There’ve been countless times I thought I could hear the love of my life around me, trying to give me strength in hard times when people on this plane didn’t give two hoots. At first I thought I was barking mad, now I believe if he’d not been there offering me quiet support, I don’t know where I’d be now.

More words from the book I’d like to share “…when you lose people you love they still continue to share in your day … they’ll still talk to you. Anyone mourning a loss needs to make an effort to move through the pain for their own well-being … anybody who has lost someone they love has to find a new way of loving that person, since hugs and kisses are no longer an option… Talk to those who’ve passed, eat their favourite food …they can hear you and touch you still. Your passed loved one can feel your pain and wants you to release it, it’s not healthy to hold on to this sorrow… We can’t imagine an end to the love that we feel. In reality there is no end to this love… They are here on an emotional level to support you when you need it …”
It’s taken me years to get to the space I’m in now – generally happy with myself, comfortable, proactive, reflective, moving forward, learning to heal myself as well as others and still learning new things every day.

So remember, when times get tough (when you can), please allow yourself to feel your feelings and try not to avoid them. Remember to be kind and patient with yourself, trust your instincts …if you feel you need a bit of a rest, have one. And remember, just because your friends or colleagues don’t agree with you, it doesn’t mean it’s not true! Bon voyage x